Someone pointed out yesterday that not everyone is in a festive mood this time of the year. In my own personal case, I must admit that I've allowed circumstances to steal too much of my joy for this entire year. No complaints...it's just true. But in truth, I know (that I don't really know) just how much I have to be tankful for. I've decided that this will stop now, and I will praise God for all that he's given me, and also for the many unseen blessings and mercies all around.
But right now, some of you are going through deep hurts that are far beyond just complaining or grumbling. Some of you have lost a loved one, perhaps several, and the loss of them has left a wound that makes this time of the year especially painful.
Some of you are greatly struggling financially, and even the necessities seem like luxuries now, at this time when so much money is spent on special things like no other time of the year. Some of you have children who are going through great hurts and you'd give anything if you could wipe them all away and make it better. Some of you are going through the heartbreak of divorce, and this Christmas your family will seem fractured, and you're wondering how to paste a smile anyway. Some of you are grieving the loss of a dream, and maybe you're thinking you should get over it already, because God knows what he's doing, right? Some have terrible anxiety right now because they've been dreading "the most wonderful time of the year": The anxiety is too much. Too much arguing, too much strife, too much worrying about pleasing everyone. Too much to do, and not enough time or money to do it. Too much noise!
Some of you are ill or injured, and will be in the hospital this Christmas day. You'd like all the comfort foods of Christmas, but instead it might be Jello...maybe IV fluids. Some of you have regret because you've tried to heal a breech with someone, and cannot...and the sting is at it's worst this time of year. Still, some, know they NEED to heal a breech with someone, and their own pride and hurt is choking them (perhaps yours is as well). Maybe they are genuinely too afraid to reach out...perhaps there's too many old wounds involved. Some of you are dealing with disability (whether it's your own or someone else's.). You know God has a plan, but in all honesty, you sometimes wanna shake a fist at him and ask why. Certain one's are dealing with a person who embodies Mr. Scrooge, and they can't tell which is worse: Having to be them, or be around them! For some people, that is their boss. Some of you face losing (or have lost) a beloved pet, and missing this family member is more painful when families are supposed to be together. Some of you have anger and regret, because you've wasted too much time on something or somebody that just was not healthy for you. Now you feel betrayed. Maybe you're even angry with God because you've trusted him and waited on him, and now you feel as though there are "blisters" on your heart. You've been wrung out like a sponge, and something in your very SOUL seems dried up. Some have found out that someone dear to them is leaving, and it's got them in pieces. Still others are facing an unexpected crisis...this Christmas will not be the joyous occasion they had hoped.
This is for all of you, who instead of being merry this time of year, you just need a good cry...maybe several. It's okay. Shut everything off, cancel what you need to, put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door...IT's OKAY. Play 3 songs: "Better Than A Halelujah," by Amy Grant, "Hold Me Jesus" (also by her, but others had covered it too), and "I Still Believe" by Jeremy Camp. This may not seem like much, but these songs seem to speak to really needing God's grace in those deep hurts that sometimes are thorns that we must walk around with.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."--Psalm 34:18 NLT
"The voice of my sorrow is a weariness to me. I make my bed wet with weeping; it is watered by the drops flowing from my eyes." --Psalm 6:6 BBE (Bible in basic English).
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I shall give you rest." --Matthew 11:28 (NIV).
"The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of all the earth, he never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak, and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength; they'll soar high on the wings like eagles; they'll run and not grow weary...they'll walk and not faint."
--Philippians 28:31 (NIV)
Keep walking...one step at a time. He knows. He cares. He's felt everything we feel!
I wonder how many times Jesus himself had to paste on a smile too.
Hang in there my friend. You will find Him when you seek Him with all your heart. I personally believe that he's not opposed to any screaming fits as long as they don't hurt you or anyone else. :). So let it out! (safely).
My hope is that you'll find restoration and be able to praise him in the quiet afterward.
((((HUGS))))
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Helicopter
My "obsession" for this week has been Bill Graham. Sunday afternoon, when I came home from church, we watched our DVD of the "Live Aid" concert from 1985. This is what started it all.. I knew who Bill Graham was...have since I was a kid. He organized "Live Aid"...the huge benefit concert done in both the US (Philadelphia) and Great Britain (Wembley Stadium). "Live Aid" was basically an attempt to wipe out hunger in third world countries. This is why the infamous " We Are the World" Ballad and the whole effort was called "USA For Africa.". Now obviously, we did not wipe out hunger, in the USA OR Africa; but it seems a whole bunch of musicians agreed to get together and try. Apparently, the show was largely put together by concert promoter Bill Graham. The idea had been based on Bob Geldof's benefit concert "Band Aid."
Anyway...how does one do that? How does one get about 47 DIFFERENT artists in one recording studio to record one song, scrawled out on paper at about three in the morning, by Quincy Jones, Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie? Furthermore, how does one put together an enormous benefit concert, not unlike "Woodstock," with over 60 different bands, the venues, the sponsors, the air time (Seen on 95% of the televisions on earth (that's according to the DVD). I'm sure, I don't know. But concert promoter Bill Graham (with the help of A LOT of friends) did. Graham also organized "Woodstock" in 1969, so it seems he was the man for the job.
Bill Graham was tragically killed in a helicopter crash in 1991. Apparently, he and his girlfriend Melissa Gold were leaving a concert...and it was storming that night. The helicopter apparently hit an electrical tower. Naturally, when the news got out, it was plastered all over the papers: "Bill Graham Dies in Crash.". There were headlines everywhere about the famous "impresario" who'd opened The Filmore venues (East and West), and managed groups such as "Santanna,"The Band," and "The Grateful Dead.". But there were two other lives lost that night: That of Steve Kahn (Graham's pilot) and Melissa Gold, Graham's girlfriend.
A 22 minute short film, created by Ari Gold, gives a glimpse into the aftermath of 3 young adult "children," trying to face the sudden and tragic loss of their mother. "Helicopter" depicts through animation, voice-overs, and some personal photos, a tragic, surreal experience of a beloved mother's death, lost in the shadow of celebrity. Chances are, many of you are now thinking of the HBO series "Entourage," because of the fictional Ari Gold, played by Jeremy Piven and his fictional wife named Melissa, played by Perrey Reeves. In all honesty, I've heard of "Entourage," but never have watched it. While looking for information on the crash that killed Bill Graham, I had no idea I would find more information on the fictional Ari Gold then on the real man.
In the film "Helicopter," the real Ari Gold says that he, his twin brother Ethan, and his sister Nina hardly knew Bill Graham. Graham and their mother Melissa had originally met several years before, and then began dating when they met again sometime later. Apparently, both had been married and divorced to other people. Ari Gold, through a series of answering machine voice overs, asks his mother if Bill Graham had turned out to be the guy she'd always wanted. Ari says Graham's courtship of his mother spanned two decades.
"He never had time to disappoint you," Ari said.
An interesting way to word it, I think. With Bill Graham being the huge icon that he was in the business of promoting music, one can imagine that he was extremely busy. This would probably explain why Melissa Gold's three children hardly knew him. Imagine riding in a limo following a memorial service that was put on for BILL GRAHAM and "two others"... Melissa Gold and pilot Steve Kahn. Imagine there are thousands of people outside...some of them chanting "Jerry!... Jerry!... Jerry!... Jerry! Imagine a woman jumps on the roof of the limo and mumbles... What did she say?? Now imagine some really loudmouthed (whoever the hell he was) OPENS your limo door and takes a seat in the car next to you...just as you're slowly rolling down the street...
"It's amazing out there, right? It's like the old days...there's the same vibes, the same chicks, the same
real music. It's also weird because we're witnessing a tragedy, right? I mean, BILL GRAHAM was a great
man. I knew him, I mean, he's...he was an asshole...I'm...he might punch ya...but he'd never take the money!
Dig?? Did you guys know Bill?"
"Our mother was in the helicopter."
"The Helicopter! Yeah, they were a great band!"
The dialogue continues and gets increasingly embarrassing for this fool who won't even let the situation sink in. Finally, he understands that these three people are not the Bill Graham influenced celebrities he'd hoped for. These two brothers and their sister, have lost their mother...one of the OTHER passengers in the helicopter that night...
The real Melissa Gold was born in Washington DC. She grew up in Princeton New Jersey, and attended Radcliffe College. Eventually, she moved to San Francisco. Her first husband was Herbert Gold, a writer. Her father was J. Richardson Dilworth, a former chairman and chief executive of the Rockafeller Group in New York. Okay, so this is information I got online from an article in the New York Times. Amazing how the public eats up details about people they know nothing about. Most importantly, she was the mother of three. Three kids who then became very successful adults. Nina Gold, Ethan Gold and Ari Gold.
In honesty, this is where I get very confused. Apparently (according to what I read), the real Ari Gold's REAL name is Ari Emanuel, and he is the brother of former Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, also mayor of Chicago. But these articles make no mention of a twin brother named Ethan. Ari and Ethan Gold (who are twins) have a band called the Gold Brothers, but the info. I read on them makes no mention of a Rahm Emanuel. Aside from that, Ari Gold, the short film maker says on his website that someone, borrowed his name for a show (I'm paraphrasing), and that he hopes one day to get something out of it. Wait...so the FICTIONAL Ari Gold was not the REAL Ari Gold's idea?? The fictional Ari even has a wife named Melissa! So (somebody) used his mother's name as well?? Rahm Emanuel's mother is listed as Marsha Emanuel. Rahm and Ari's father's name is Benjamin Emanuel, but these articles make no mention of a sister Nina or a brother Ethan. Am I talking about a step brother? Melissa Gold was said to have three kids, with Ari and Ethan being twins. If the real Ari Gold is brothers with Rahm Emanuel, what happened to his TWIN brother Ethan? Am I even talking about the same family??
My goodness, you guys...all this, and I was only looking for information on the crash that killed Bill Graham! Ethan Gold's biography on his website mentions Bill Graham and his mother Melissa, and the crash which tragically took her life. And of course, Ari Gold made his amazing short film that won him a student Oscar. Check out the film "Helicopter" on Ari's website or on YouTube. Also check out Ethan Gold and the Gold Brothers...really cool!! I think a really amazing lady named Melissa Gold would be amazingly proud of her sons today. I wish I could 've known her myself. I'll be honest...I wish I could've known Bill Graham too. He has fascinated me since childhood. I think anyone connected to that much music that so many of us grew up with would likely be quite interesting. . To Ari, Ethan and Nina: I can't imagine how much you must miss your mother everyday. Thank you Ari for bringing her to life, in a sense, so people can get to know who she was a bit. My apologies for any incorrect details I may have gotten mixed up in your story :). But suffice it to say that the helicopter crash that killed a famous music impresario, was a terrible tragedy...in more ways than many people are aware, I think.
Links:
http://liveaid.free.fr/
http://www.nytimes.com/1991/10/28/obituaries/melissa-gold-47-aide-for-california-causes.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ari_Emanuel
http://thegoldbrothers.com/
http://www.businessinsider.com/henry-blodget-the-real-ari-gold-takes-over-hollywood-2009-6
http://imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com/the_real_ari.html
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tyDozqrdz8w&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DtyDozqrdz8w
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=DAk0ep76WEg
Anyway...how does one do that? How does one get about 47 DIFFERENT artists in one recording studio to record one song, scrawled out on paper at about three in the morning, by Quincy Jones, Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie? Furthermore, how does one put together an enormous benefit concert, not unlike "Woodstock," with over 60 different bands, the venues, the sponsors, the air time (Seen on 95% of the televisions on earth (that's according to the DVD). I'm sure, I don't know. But concert promoter Bill Graham (with the help of A LOT of friends) did. Graham also organized "Woodstock" in 1969, so it seems he was the man for the job.
Bill Graham was tragically killed in a helicopter crash in 1991. Apparently, he and his girlfriend Melissa Gold were leaving a concert...and it was storming that night. The helicopter apparently hit an electrical tower. Naturally, when the news got out, it was plastered all over the papers: "Bill Graham Dies in Crash.". There were headlines everywhere about the famous "impresario" who'd opened The Filmore venues (East and West), and managed groups such as "Santanna,"The Band," and "The Grateful Dead.". But there were two other lives lost that night: That of Steve Kahn (Graham's pilot) and Melissa Gold, Graham's girlfriend.
A 22 minute short film, created by Ari Gold, gives a glimpse into the aftermath of 3 young adult "children," trying to face the sudden and tragic loss of their mother. "Helicopter" depicts through animation, voice-overs, and some personal photos, a tragic, surreal experience of a beloved mother's death, lost in the shadow of celebrity. Chances are, many of you are now thinking of the HBO series "Entourage," because of the fictional Ari Gold, played by Jeremy Piven and his fictional wife named Melissa, played by Perrey Reeves. In all honesty, I've heard of "Entourage," but never have watched it. While looking for information on the crash that killed Bill Graham, I had no idea I would find more information on the fictional Ari Gold then on the real man.
In the film "Helicopter," the real Ari Gold says that he, his twin brother Ethan, and his sister Nina hardly knew Bill Graham. Graham and their mother Melissa had originally met several years before, and then began dating when they met again sometime later. Apparently, both had been married and divorced to other people. Ari Gold, through a series of answering machine voice overs, asks his mother if Bill Graham had turned out to be the guy she'd always wanted. Ari says Graham's courtship of his mother spanned two decades.
"He never had time to disappoint you," Ari said.
An interesting way to word it, I think. With Bill Graham being the huge icon that he was in the business of promoting music, one can imagine that he was extremely busy. This would probably explain why Melissa Gold's three children hardly knew him. Imagine riding in a limo following a memorial service that was put on for BILL GRAHAM and "two others"... Melissa Gold and pilot Steve Kahn. Imagine there are thousands of people outside...some of them chanting "Jerry!... Jerry!... Jerry!... Jerry! Imagine a woman jumps on the roof of the limo and mumbles... What did she say?? Now imagine some really loudmouthed (whoever the hell he was) OPENS your limo door and takes a seat in the car next to you...just as you're slowly rolling down the street...
"It's amazing out there, right? It's like the old days...there's the same vibes, the same chicks, the same
real music. It's also weird because we're witnessing a tragedy, right? I mean, BILL GRAHAM was a great
man. I knew him, I mean, he's...he was an asshole...I'm...he might punch ya...but he'd never take the money!
Dig?? Did you guys know Bill?"
"Our mother was in the helicopter."
"The Helicopter! Yeah, they were a great band!"
The dialogue continues and gets increasingly embarrassing for this fool who won't even let the situation sink in. Finally, he understands that these three people are not the Bill Graham influenced celebrities he'd hoped for. These two brothers and their sister, have lost their mother...one of the OTHER passengers in the helicopter that night...
The real Melissa Gold was born in Washington DC. She grew up in Princeton New Jersey, and attended Radcliffe College. Eventually, she moved to San Francisco. Her first husband was Herbert Gold, a writer. Her father was J. Richardson Dilworth, a former chairman and chief executive of the Rockafeller Group in New York. Okay, so this is information I got online from an article in the New York Times. Amazing how the public eats up details about people they know nothing about. Most importantly, she was the mother of three. Three kids who then became very successful adults. Nina Gold, Ethan Gold and Ari Gold.
In honesty, this is where I get very confused. Apparently (according to what I read), the real Ari Gold's REAL name is Ari Emanuel, and he is the brother of former Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, also mayor of Chicago. But these articles make no mention of a twin brother named Ethan. Ari and Ethan Gold (who are twins) have a band called the Gold Brothers, but the info. I read on them makes no mention of a Rahm Emanuel. Aside from that, Ari Gold, the short film maker says on his website that someone, borrowed his name for a show (I'm paraphrasing), and that he hopes one day to get something out of it. Wait...so the FICTIONAL Ari Gold was not the REAL Ari Gold's idea?? The fictional Ari even has a wife named Melissa! So (somebody) used his mother's name as well?? Rahm Emanuel's mother is listed as Marsha Emanuel. Rahm and Ari's father's name is Benjamin Emanuel, but these articles make no mention of a sister Nina or a brother Ethan. Am I talking about a step brother? Melissa Gold was said to have three kids, with Ari and Ethan being twins. If the real Ari Gold is brothers with Rahm Emanuel, what happened to his TWIN brother Ethan? Am I even talking about the same family??
My goodness, you guys...all this, and I was only looking for information on the crash that killed Bill Graham! Ethan Gold's biography on his website mentions Bill Graham and his mother Melissa, and the crash which tragically took her life. And of course, Ari Gold made his amazing short film that won him a student Oscar. Check out the film "Helicopter" on Ari's website or on YouTube. Also check out Ethan Gold and the Gold Brothers...really cool!! I think a really amazing lady named Melissa Gold would be amazingly proud of her sons today. I wish I could 've known her myself. I'll be honest...I wish I could've known Bill Graham too. He has fascinated me since childhood. I think anyone connected to that much music that so many of us grew up with would likely be quite interesting. . To Ari, Ethan and Nina: I can't imagine how much you must miss your mother everyday. Thank you Ari for bringing her to life, in a sense, so people can get to know who she was a bit. My apologies for any incorrect details I may have gotten mixed up in your story :). But suffice it to say that the helicopter crash that killed a famous music impresario, was a terrible tragedy...in more ways than many people are aware, I think.
Links:
http://liveaid.free.fr/
http://www.nytimes.com/1991/10/28/obituaries/melissa-gold-47-aide-for-california-causes.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ari_Emanuel
http://thegoldbrothers.com/
http://www.businessinsider.com/henry-blodget-the-real-ari-gold-takes-over-hollywood-2009-6
http://imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com/the_real_ari.html
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tyDozqrdz8w&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DtyDozqrdz8w
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=DAk0ep76WEg
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Update: Pray for Her
A couple weeks ago, I wrote in this blog about an underweight woman I'd seen in the doctor's office. For a while, I have struggled over this couple of people (a mother and daughter), wondering if there were anything more I could...or should do for her daughter. Was she a minor? My instinct tells me no. I asked my mother about that, and she agreed. Would there by any legal grounds to try and help this woman? Possibly. But there was a check in my heart.
Usually, when a person is particularly hostile as well as controlling, a sudden jolt in the reality they are used to can cause them to think the whole world is against them...and possibly do something desperate. Is it right for this mother to be abusive to her daughter in that way? Absolutely not. In truth, I've been most concerned about this underweight woman throwing up. But what if the mother got it into her head that her DAUGHTER had called the authorities? Say they checked into it, only to find that this girl is not a minor? In that case, how much worse would this woman's reality be? Because of suspicion...paranoia...fear? (on the part of the mother, mean.) Say she IS a minor... and she is possibly removed from the situation. What would that do to this mother? Would it then backfire and fall on this girl's head like a ton of bricks? I say this, because I'm worried about her DAUGHTER. I'm not concerned about the mother's personal feelings...but master manipulator's only know how to manipulate more.
That's the problem. My instinct tells me there's a million unknowns here. My instinct tells me that this girl certainly needs some help... But somehow, I'm afraid that involving (or trying to involve) the authorities would do more harm than good. I'm trying to figure if this just my own fear talking. But my personal feelings are these:
That girl was an adult...and very articulate. Emotionally there absolutely are issues, yes. But the thing is, no one can make a person get help for an eating disorder. They have to want it for themselves. As destructive as this girl's "coping" skills are...it's like telling an alcoholic to quit drinking. They have to want the help for themselves. Putting that aside for a minute...this girl had learned how to handle her mother. She knew how manipulative her mom is, and I feel that if she's smart enough to handle her Mother's abusive nature...she's smart enough to get away from it too. She can call a relative or friend. She can speak to someone herself about her situation and find out what her options are. The really sad thing is that even if she no longer lived with her mother, this does not mean that the vomiting would stop. This doesn't mean that no one should try...and I get that. But I find that if someone really wants to keep something hidden, they will. Perhaps this is not the right perspective and I should've checked into it further. My prayer is that this girl will find a solid, Biblically based church, and that she can get some support that way.
Keep praying for this girl. As I said in the first entry, I don't even know her name. I wonder if even giving this girl some time to herself without her mother around would do any good. It breaks my heart though that she is harming herself (at least, based on what mom and I saw that day.). I'm still not sure whether I did the right thing by choosing not to get involved. I just wouldn't want my actions to end up bringing more harm to her than good. Poor thing.
Usually, when a person is particularly hostile as well as controlling, a sudden jolt in the reality they are used to can cause them to think the whole world is against them...and possibly do something desperate. Is it right for this mother to be abusive to her daughter in that way? Absolutely not. In truth, I've been most concerned about this underweight woman throwing up. But what if the mother got it into her head that her DAUGHTER had called the authorities? Say they checked into it, only to find that this girl is not a minor? In that case, how much worse would this woman's reality be? Because of suspicion...paranoia...fear? (on the part of the mother, mean.) Say she IS a minor... and she is possibly removed from the situation. What would that do to this mother? Would it then backfire and fall on this girl's head like a ton of bricks? I say this, because I'm worried about her DAUGHTER. I'm not concerned about the mother's personal feelings...but master manipulator's only know how to manipulate more.
That's the problem. My instinct tells me there's a million unknowns here. My instinct tells me that this girl certainly needs some help... But somehow, I'm afraid that involving (or trying to involve) the authorities would do more harm than good. I'm trying to figure if this just my own fear talking. But my personal feelings are these:
That girl was an adult...and very articulate. Emotionally there absolutely are issues, yes. But the thing is, no one can make a person get help for an eating disorder. They have to want it for themselves. As destructive as this girl's "coping" skills are...it's like telling an alcoholic to quit drinking. They have to want the help for themselves. Putting that aside for a minute...this girl had learned how to handle her mother. She knew how manipulative her mom is, and I feel that if she's smart enough to handle her Mother's abusive nature...she's smart enough to get away from it too. She can call a relative or friend. She can speak to someone herself about her situation and find out what her options are. The really sad thing is that even if she no longer lived with her mother, this does not mean that the vomiting would stop. This doesn't mean that no one should try...and I get that. But I find that if someone really wants to keep something hidden, they will. Perhaps this is not the right perspective and I should've checked into it further. My prayer is that this girl will find a solid, Biblically based church, and that she can get some support that way.
Keep praying for this girl. As I said in the first entry, I don't even know her name. I wonder if even giving this girl some time to herself without her mother around would do any good. It breaks my heart though that she is harming herself (at least, based on what mom and I saw that day.). I'm still not sure whether I did the right thing by choosing not to get involved. I just wouldn't want my actions to end up bringing more harm to her than good. Poor thing.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Where Do I Start?...
Who doesn't love music of all kinds, right? I REALLY love it! (Well, most of it, anyway). You can't ask me what my favorite SONG is...because I could never tell ya. I'd need a separate list just for the Beatles songs! I actually made up a list once. I imagined, if I were stuck on an island somewhere, and I had two CD's with me...What would be on them? I'm amazed I got it down to 40! :). When it comes to Beatles songs, I do have my favorites, of course, but it's hard to pick them out because there are so many that I love. I'm the kinda person who will put my CD player on repeat and just hear the same song over and over. I remember once when I was trying to get over some guy, I put on "Better Than A Halelujah" (Amy Grant) and just let it play all night. What can I say...it made me feel better! :). But when I'm totally happy about something, I'll do this too. Anything that magnifies that joy beyond words. Sometimes the greatest thing can just be turning the radio up loud.
As I type this out, I've got "Fool on The Hill" in my headphones. A definite favorite! I've seen Paul McCartney twice, and when I hear that song, I think of him up on that revolving platform with his hand up going "Round and round and round and round"... Anyway, it's a memory I love, so I (love) to bring it back :). I'm not ashamed to say that I usually like my parents music even more than stuff of my generation. It's just better, somehow. Not that I don't have my own music that I love, but there's just something about older stuff that just...I don't know how to put it. Just heard "Mona Lisa's and Madhatters.". Elton John..."Tumbleweed Connection". Certainly, my mom's music (it's from 1971). But what a song! The title alone just kinda tickles the senses, you know? Like you go "What's that??". I have a total obsession with the mandolin too, so it's perfect! (Loggins & Messina are great for that). I first heard that song in "Almost Famous" (If you've never seen it...what's wrong with you!) :). Amazing movie!! But every song has a story to it, doesn't it? This to me, is so cool, there's the story that goes along with the writers and how the song came about, and then there's the memories each person has when they hear it. So awesome!
So, here's the top ten from each list...but of corse, the lists actually go on and on!
10. Good Night. The Beatles
9. Down on my Knees. Trisha Yearwood
8. How can we See That Far? Amy Grant
7. Blossom. James Taylor
6. Breath of Heaven. Amy Grant
5. Believe it or Not. James Taylor
4. Someone in the Dark. Michael Jackson
3. Touch Me With My Clothes On. Gilda Radner
2. True Love Ways. Buddy Holly
1. Hey Jude. The Beatles
Beatles
10. Good Night
9. The Word
8. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
7. Hide Your Love Away
6. Yes it is (Please Don't Wear Red)
5. Fool on The Hill
4. Elenor Rigby
3. The Long & Winding Road
2. Julia
1. Hey Jude
Man! Only ten BEATLES songs?? That's a travesty! There are just too many good ones! I feel like I'm being unfaithful, I left so many of them out. :). But, there ya go.
PS...if you ever wanna hear a song that sounds like it was just made in Heaven, try "Thunder Road," by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Amazing!
As I type this out, I've got "Fool on The Hill" in my headphones. A definite favorite! I've seen Paul McCartney twice, and when I hear that song, I think of him up on that revolving platform with his hand up going "Round and round and round and round"... Anyway, it's a memory I love, so I (love) to bring it back :). I'm not ashamed to say that I usually like my parents music even more than stuff of my generation. It's just better, somehow. Not that I don't have my own music that I love, but there's just something about older stuff that just...I don't know how to put it. Just heard "Mona Lisa's and Madhatters.". Elton John..."Tumbleweed Connection". Certainly, my mom's music (it's from 1971). But what a song! The title alone just kinda tickles the senses, you know? Like you go "What's that??". I have a total obsession with the mandolin too, so it's perfect! (Loggins & Messina are great for that). I first heard that song in "Almost Famous" (If you've never seen it...what's wrong with you!) :). Amazing movie!! But every song has a story to it, doesn't it? This to me, is so cool, there's the story that goes along with the writers and how the song came about, and then there's the memories each person has when they hear it. So awesome!
So, here's the top ten from each list...but of corse, the lists actually go on and on!
10. Good Night. The Beatles
9. Down on my Knees. Trisha Yearwood
8. How can we See That Far? Amy Grant
7. Blossom. James Taylor
6. Breath of Heaven. Amy Grant
5. Believe it or Not. James Taylor
4. Someone in the Dark. Michael Jackson
3. Touch Me With My Clothes On. Gilda Radner
2. True Love Ways. Buddy Holly
1. Hey Jude. The Beatles
Beatles
10. Good Night
9. The Word
8. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
7. Hide Your Love Away
6. Yes it is (Please Don't Wear Red)
5. Fool on The Hill
4. Elenor Rigby
3. The Long & Winding Road
2. Julia
1. Hey Jude
Man! Only ten BEATLES songs?? That's a travesty! There are just too many good ones! I feel like I'm being unfaithful, I left so many of them out. :). But, there ya go.
PS...if you ever wanna hear a song that sounds like it was just made in Heaven, try "Thunder Road," by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Amazing!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Secrets...
Have not stopped thinking about that young girl all night. (Read yesterday's post). I keep hearing The Carpenter's music going through my head. I'm sure it's because of what happened to Karen. Karen Carpenter Died in 1983 at the age of 32, due to complications of Anorexia Nervosa. Back then, the treatment for this disorder was only in it' infancy. Karen had gone to get treatment and therapy...but it seems to me that it was more at her friend's and families urging.
The way I understand it, someone made comments about Karen's weight, and Karen read them in an article. She'd been starving herself for several years when she died, and her brother Richard wondered how it was he had not noticed anything was wrong. Even with all that malnutrition, that phenomenal voice of Karen's had never seemed damaged in the least. That it It would seem to me that if a person really wants to hide something, they will. But what if they really are screaming for help the whole time? I think Karen Carpenter probably was. Somehow, I know that young girl is. (The one I saw yesterday). I fell asleep praying for her last night. I woke up and suddenly remembered Jesus asking his disciples if they could pray with him for one hour. :)
This is for anyone, woman, or man, who has a distorted body image...that is, you are harming yourself physically in some way, but in your mind, the end result would be positive. If you are throwing up, or just not eating at all to keep any hint of fat from showing up; if you're downing laxatives (which Karen did) in order to get everything out of your system; if you're taking any drugs that will either make you smaller...or bigger (like steroids); if you're addicted to (food, alcohol, drugs, porn) and you do it in the quiet, but secretly, you're screaming inside, wondering how long you can keep this up. Please do not be afraid to seek help. Talk to someone you trust. See a pastor, join a support group, do some online research and see what's out there. But do what you have to in order to get help, because I would challenge you: It's not losing weight, or getting bigger muscles, or becoming aroused...it's loneliness. It's a deep loneliness that keeps you running back to that "thing" either trying to fill yourself up, or empty yourself of something. Stop (please). Take some deep breaths. Get some good sleep. Get some help. Hang in there my friend!
"Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water I give them, will never thirst again, indeed, they shall become a spring of Water welling up to eternal life."
--John 4:13-14
The way I understand it, someone made comments about Karen's weight, and Karen read them in an article. She'd been starving herself for several years when she died, and her brother Richard wondered how it was he had not noticed anything was wrong. Even with all that malnutrition, that phenomenal voice of Karen's had never seemed damaged in the least. That it It would seem to me that if a person really wants to hide something, they will. But what if they really are screaming for help the whole time? I think Karen Carpenter probably was. Somehow, I know that young girl is. (The one I saw yesterday). I fell asleep praying for her last night. I woke up and suddenly remembered Jesus asking his disciples if they could pray with him for one hour. :)
This is for anyone, woman, or man, who has a distorted body image...that is, you are harming yourself physically in some way, but in your mind, the end result would be positive. If you are throwing up, or just not eating at all to keep any hint of fat from showing up; if you're downing laxatives (which Karen did) in order to get everything out of your system; if you're taking any drugs that will either make you smaller...or bigger (like steroids); if you're addicted to (food, alcohol, drugs, porn) and you do it in the quiet, but secretly, you're screaming inside, wondering how long you can keep this up. Please do not be afraid to seek help. Talk to someone you trust. See a pastor, join a support group, do some online research and see what's out there. But do what you have to in order to get help, because I would challenge you: It's not losing weight, or getting bigger muscles, or becoming aroused...it's loneliness. It's a deep loneliness that keeps you running back to that "thing" either trying to fill yourself up, or empty yourself of something. Stop (please). Take some deep breaths. Get some good sleep. Get some help. Hang in there my friend!
"Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water I give them, will never thirst again, indeed, they shall become a spring of Water welling up to eternal life."
--John 4:13-14
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Pray For Her...
I am truly scared for the girl I just saw in the doctor's office...
Two women came in, a mother and a daughter. The mother was in a motorized scooter chair. Her bag with everything she would need for a journey out into the heat was hanging on the back. Her daughter, the one I'm worried about...was so skinny, I could see the joints where her knees were. She was too tanned (orange) with blonde hair that was too thin...and she looked to me like she was literally wasting away. Her mother did not stop giving her orders, from the time they came in, until the time my mother and I left the office. Whether it was, needing her sweater on her shoulders, needing more toilet paper (as opposed to Kleenex), needing her SKIRT STRAIGHTENED... or needing to know why she had not yet been seen, because her appointment was at 1:15. The second they came into the office, this mother (whom I'm guessing was in her fifties) was already ordering this girl to grab something out of her bag. I'm guessing her daughter was no more then 21. She was built tiny anyway, but with her super tiny shorts and sleeveless tank top over her thin as a rail frame, she looked like she could've passed for a junior high student.
The mother talked so much, I got the feeling that this frail, young girl, was not able to breathe without permission. Her mother had to describe EVERYTHING ... The way she (herself) coughed, the way it hurt when she coughed, the way she breathed, and some other things, too gross to mention. Another lady in a wheelchair came in, and this mother, obsessed with all her symptoms began to tell her every single thing wrong with her while giving her daughter more orders. I really wondered if this obsessive, possessive mother was a hypo-chondriach. She had parked her scooter against the wall, but right next to the door where the doctors came out and the patients went in. She then took a charger out of her bag, which she dropped on the floor. I was concerned that someone may trip over it. A moment later, this lady asked me to pick it up for her and hand it to her.
I stood up, but stopped, because I was afraid, someone would open that door. Sure enough... a doctor did. At the same time, two patients were coming from the other way because he had just called their names. This lady's scooter was in the way, in any case, and so was her charger. She did not see the reasons that I had not moved, and she then asked me if I was okay, like I had not heard her. My overall impression of this woman was that she was completely unaware of anything anyone else was going through. The other lady in the wheelchair told her that as a rule, she never makes anyone in her family become her caretaker. She said it was because then they would feel like they never got a break. Somehow, I could tell, she was trying to stand up for this poor young girl, who could never do enough for her mother.
"She's gotten a break! I've been in the hospital for two weeks! I had two heart attacks!"
At this point, the young girl was out of the room. Shortly, she came back with more TP for her mother to blow her nose with. She took her seat next to me and played with her phone just waiting for her mother to give her the next order. My mother came out to the waiting room and we left. When we exited the elevator, we stopped at the ladies room. Mom, told me she'd be waiting outside for me, and right after that, someone else came in, and the girl in the stall next to me was vomiting. I told my mom the story after we got in the car.
"Was she the little blonde girl sitting next to you?"
I said that she was, and mom said that she was the one who'd gone into the ladies room right after she went out to wait for me.
I'd been sitting in that waiting room wondering how this poor girl dealt with all the stress her mother put on her. Now I had my answer...and my worst fears had been confirmed. I'd thought about it when I'd first seen her walk in the waiting room. Her lack of muscle mass alarmed me. But I dismissed what I was thinking. Now I had my answer. Poor thing! I felt belittled just sitting in the waiting room with her mother. I can't IMAGINE how this young, way too thin woman feels living with her. Anyone who read's this post...please pray for this young girl. I don't even know her name, but I know she's in trouble. Thank you.
Two women came in, a mother and a daughter. The mother was in a motorized scooter chair. Her bag with everything she would need for a journey out into the heat was hanging on the back. Her daughter, the one I'm worried about...was so skinny, I could see the joints where her knees were. She was too tanned (orange) with blonde hair that was too thin...and she looked to me like she was literally wasting away. Her mother did not stop giving her orders, from the time they came in, until the time my mother and I left the office. Whether it was, needing her sweater on her shoulders, needing more toilet paper (as opposed to Kleenex), needing her SKIRT STRAIGHTENED... or needing to know why she had not yet been seen, because her appointment was at 1:15. The second they came into the office, this mother (whom I'm guessing was in her fifties) was already ordering this girl to grab something out of her bag. I'm guessing her daughter was no more then 21. She was built tiny anyway, but with her super tiny shorts and sleeveless tank top over her thin as a rail frame, she looked like she could've passed for a junior high student.
The mother talked so much, I got the feeling that this frail, young girl, was not able to breathe without permission. Her mother had to describe EVERYTHING ... The way she (herself) coughed, the way it hurt when she coughed, the way she breathed, and some other things, too gross to mention. Another lady in a wheelchair came in, and this mother, obsessed with all her symptoms began to tell her every single thing wrong with her while giving her daughter more orders. I really wondered if this obsessive, possessive mother was a hypo-chondriach. She had parked her scooter against the wall, but right next to the door where the doctors came out and the patients went in. She then took a charger out of her bag, which she dropped on the floor. I was concerned that someone may trip over it. A moment later, this lady asked me to pick it up for her and hand it to her.
I stood up, but stopped, because I was afraid, someone would open that door. Sure enough... a doctor did. At the same time, two patients were coming from the other way because he had just called their names. This lady's scooter was in the way, in any case, and so was her charger. She did not see the reasons that I had not moved, and she then asked me if I was okay, like I had not heard her. My overall impression of this woman was that she was completely unaware of anything anyone else was going through. The other lady in the wheelchair told her that as a rule, she never makes anyone in her family become her caretaker. She said it was because then they would feel like they never got a break. Somehow, I could tell, she was trying to stand up for this poor young girl, who could never do enough for her mother.
"She's gotten a break! I've been in the hospital for two weeks! I had two heart attacks!"
At this point, the young girl was out of the room. Shortly, she came back with more TP for her mother to blow her nose with. She took her seat next to me and played with her phone just waiting for her mother to give her the next order. My mother came out to the waiting room and we left. When we exited the elevator, we stopped at the ladies room. Mom, told me she'd be waiting outside for me, and right after that, someone else came in, and the girl in the stall next to me was vomiting. I told my mom the story after we got in the car.
"Was she the little blonde girl sitting next to you?"
I said that she was, and mom said that she was the one who'd gone into the ladies room right after she went out to wait for me.
I'd been sitting in that waiting room wondering how this poor girl dealt with all the stress her mother put on her. Now I had my answer...and my worst fears had been confirmed. I'd thought about it when I'd first seen her walk in the waiting room. Her lack of muscle mass alarmed me. But I dismissed what I was thinking. Now I had my answer. Poor thing! I felt belittled just sitting in the waiting room with her mother. I can't IMAGINE how this young, way too thin woman feels living with her. Anyone who read's this post...please pray for this young girl. I don't even know her name, but I know she's in trouble. Thank you.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Very Cool Cat...
We have an inside cat, and a sliding glass door. Our kitty has two cat trees and several toys. Everyday, she takes her place either up on her perches or down below in summer where it's cooler. One morning, I woke up to find another kitty out on our patio, wanting to play with our cat. Our cat backed up curiously, as the outside cat gently came forward and sniffed her. He (we think it's a "he"), rubbed his head on the glass and cooed at her.
Our cat stumbled backwards...startled. The hair stood up on her back, just in case this stranger did not have the best motives in mind. The outside cat batted a paw at her, and she backed up again.. Now, the whole time, this was going on, I was talking to the outside cat..."Hi Sweetie...come here"...that sorta thing. The outside kitty only wanted to play...at least, I thought so. It was okay because the two furry friends had a glass door between them. They could check one another out, but with no unnecessary fear of a sudden cat fight.
Our cat had never seen another cat before, accept through our kitchen window. This, however, was up close and personal. She could be fascinated with this "New guy" but not be hurt. She backed up and whined a bit, but then realized that this kitty was friendly. They stared at each other and played a bit...through the glass. Eventually, the outside kitty disappeared under our awning, and went on another adventure. Our, kitty, unable to get outside, sat at the door, staring out...looking completely confused. Where had he gone, and why couldn't she go? I reasoned that if this cat had been to our place for one visit...he would most certainly be back. Of course, I talk to our cat, so I said "Don't worry, he'll be back honey.". Sure enough, he did come back. It was either that night, or the next day, but this new friend stopped in to hang out. The two laid down and rolled over a few times...then, sat up, but they were still reclined. They literally looked like they were conversing. The outside kitty stayed a little while and then disappeared.
So, the visits have continued...even now. Sometimes the outside kitty would wait a few days, and then come back. Sometimes he'd come twice in a day. Sometimes, he'll show up on the patio in the middle of the night, meowing with distinct "vibrato"... as though he were letting her know he's here. But he always makes a distinct attempt to come and see her, as though he loves her company and wants to play. No worries of harm coming to either because they have protection between them...but just watching them act silly when they enjoy each other's company. It's as though the outside kitty knows our cat does not go out...so he comes to her! I find it interesting, because our cat has never even been out roaming around. Although, we've held her and walked outside with her. She's very playful and spends most of her day in front of the glass, letting the sun bathe her in it's light, letting all of her markings show. Our place, is literally, back in a corner. Pizza delivery guys get lost trying to find us.
AND YET...
This tenacious kitty found our cat... has formed an attachment to her, is now making regular visits to her house and has, if you will, "adopted" all of us! I do believe this is called pursuit. It occurred to me this morning, as I was watching them just enjoy each other, that this is the entire art of showing an interest in someone...all played out before me....with a couple of cats! No searching (not on the part of the female) she was right in place, and he couldn't help but see her. We've now taken to teasing our cat, telling her that she has a boyfriend! All this, and she wasn't even trying! I must say... I think there is a major lesson to be learned here! Gee, can I trade lives with a cat?? :)
Our cat stumbled backwards...startled. The hair stood up on her back, just in case this stranger did not have the best motives in mind. The outside cat batted a paw at her, and she backed up again.. Now, the whole time, this was going on, I was talking to the outside cat..."Hi Sweetie...come here"...that sorta thing. The outside kitty only wanted to play...at least, I thought so. It was okay because the two furry friends had a glass door between them. They could check one another out, but with no unnecessary fear of a sudden cat fight.
Our cat had never seen another cat before, accept through our kitchen window. This, however, was up close and personal. She could be fascinated with this "New guy" but not be hurt. She backed up and whined a bit, but then realized that this kitty was friendly. They stared at each other and played a bit...through the glass. Eventually, the outside kitty disappeared under our awning, and went on another adventure. Our, kitty, unable to get outside, sat at the door, staring out...looking completely confused. Where had he gone, and why couldn't she go? I reasoned that if this cat had been to our place for one visit...he would most certainly be back. Of course, I talk to our cat, so I said "Don't worry, he'll be back honey.". Sure enough, he did come back. It was either that night, or the next day, but this new friend stopped in to hang out. The two laid down and rolled over a few times...then, sat up, but they were still reclined. They literally looked like they were conversing. The outside kitty stayed a little while and then disappeared.
So, the visits have continued...even now. Sometimes the outside kitty would wait a few days, and then come back. Sometimes he'd come twice in a day. Sometimes, he'll show up on the patio in the middle of the night, meowing with distinct "vibrato"... as though he were letting her know he's here. But he always makes a distinct attempt to come and see her, as though he loves her company and wants to play. No worries of harm coming to either because they have protection between them...but just watching them act silly when they enjoy each other's company. It's as though the outside kitty knows our cat does not go out...so he comes to her! I find it interesting, because our cat has never even been out roaming around. Although, we've held her and walked outside with her. She's very playful and spends most of her day in front of the glass, letting the sun bathe her in it's light, letting all of her markings show. Our place, is literally, back in a corner. Pizza delivery guys get lost trying to find us.
AND YET...
This tenacious kitty found our cat... has formed an attachment to her, is now making regular visits to her house and has, if you will, "adopted" all of us! I do believe this is called pursuit. It occurred to me this morning, as I was watching them just enjoy each other, that this is the entire art of showing an interest in someone...all played out before me....with a couple of cats! No searching (not on the part of the female) she was right in place, and he couldn't help but see her. We've now taken to teasing our cat, telling her that she has a boyfriend! All this, and she wasn't even trying! I must say... I think there is a major lesson to be learned here! Gee, can I trade lives with a cat?? :)
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Just Some Stuff...
My mom has always said that there isn't a song that this girl does not know the words to. Yeah, I'll go with that. I sing all the time and I'm pretty good about knowing various artists. No, not always...but I do pretty well pretty well. Can you tell, whether a song is "Steely Dan" or Donald Fagen? I love the Beatles, but usually can't tell them apart in their earlier pics because they all have the same haircut. This is pretty common with me. I don't recognize faces all that well. It all depends on whether the picture is black and white, or color, whether it's a photo or a drawing...things like that.
I'm better at recognizing hair lines or styles, certain clothes or certain character's that someone played. This is especially true with black and white photos. Seems like colors help me recognize people better. If I know someone has olive skin or blue eyes, I look for that (for example.). I was just thinking that I would love to have some chocolate ice cream right about now. It's about 105 out, and I'm here on my sofa with the AC on staying out of the heat. I love pretty much anything chocolate...cake, brownies, pudding, Rocky Road ice cream...absolutely! And just like a kid after school, I love Oreo's and milk. When I went to England for a semester, I discovered gilato. Like it much better than ice cream... and the gilato here does not compare! I first had the gilato at a Rotunda Cinema in Kingston on the Thames. I went to see "The Passion of the Christ," and the guy behind the counter gave me an odd look. I think this was because I asked for chocolate and Rasperry together. Yummy!, oh that was good! :)
I once went on a canoe trip down the river in Arkansas. The canoe tipped over upside down, and my aunt and I found ourselves drifting in fast rushing, COLD water! It was then that I figured out that sometimes it does not matter how well you swim, if a river wants to carry you away...it will!! The irony is, that I don't swim anyway. We both had life jackets on, which kept us above the surface. But my aunt somehow had to grab onto the tree stuck in the middle of the river and me at the same time. Somehow, she did, and I don't even remember how we got out of the water, but we were drenched...and the river got everything...our towels, our sun glasses. Did I mention, it had really stormed that day? If I recall correctly, we'd almost called that trip off... but decided to go through with it because it had been planned for so long. I'd never told anyone, but I'd been really nervous about that trip. It was like I knew something was going to go wrong or something. I remember praying the night before, and saying "What happens if the canoe tips over?". Gee, how did I know? So, God answered me when he said "Why don't you trust me whether the canoe tips over or not?". So, the following day, when I was in the river swallowing the water and screaming, I was thinking "Okay God, remember what you said??". Anyway...he did...and here I am!
I became a born again Christian at 15. Well, it was actually earlier than that...but when it actually first happened, I was just eight years old, and literally did not know enough about being saved to understand what I had done. I grew up always knowing about God, and knowing that I would be with him in Heaven, after I died...but I did not always know that you have to be saved first. Anyway, as a little girl, I was told about the story of the woman who'd had a condition which caused her to bleed. She got through the crowd and tugged on Jesus's clothes, saying that she believed that she'd be healed, even with a touch of his garment. As the story goes, she was healed.
Jesus said "your faith has made you well.". So at the age of eight, I lay in bed that night, with my arms around the Teddy bear I've had since I was four months old (I still have him today) and I was curious just to see what would happen. So I whispered that I believed that if I COULD touch Jesus's garment, I'd be healed too. I wasn't sick. I just believed it. I felt... What was that? I was not sure, but it was amazing and wonderful! Everything was clean from the inside. I felt, sorta like goosebumps and warm tingles all over me. I know now, that at that moment...I joined the family called the "body" of Christ. I was at that moment "saved"...and the Holy Spirit did enter in. But at the time, I had no idea what any of that actually meant. I did not know I needed to BE saved, so I had not asked to be. But I had sincerely said that I believed...that the same power that healed that woman with the sickness could also (if need be) heal me. It was not until seven years later, when I was 15 and a sophomore in high school that I consciously understood what being saved meant.
As a kid, my mother did not baptize me and never required of me that I attend church. She'd wanted me to be able to make those decisions for myself later on. As a teen, I was in fact, convicted in my own way that I needed to be saved, as well as baptized. I remember, my step-dad had brought home these videos of these short, fictional films depicting what things may be like when Christ returns for all believers left on the earth, (the one's who have not already died, of course). Long story short, I saw the things in those films (made back in the 60's) and I kept thinking "What if...". What if it's true? What if we will all need to take a mark on outright hand or forehead, or we won't be able to buy or sell anything without it? What if not taking this mark would mean death? What if Christ is going to remove his spirit from the world at this time, because all the believers have been taken? In other words... evil like we've never known before. What if all that's true? I don't wanna be here for that! I then began to consider that if I were saved...I would not be "left behind"...I would go to be with Jesus.
But the kicker was this: even if the "Rapture" did not happen in my lifetime...when I died, where would I go? Wow. If I'm not saved, I would go to Hell. Period. According to the Bible, so will every unbeliever. Yikes!! This is not something I want to GUESS about, or just figure that it won't happen to me! So after all three movies were over, I'd made up my mind! What did I have to lose? Only things which are not right for me anyway. What did I have to gain? EVERYTHING!! Abundant life here on earth AND eternal life in Heaven with Jesus, and no more pain, (and) one day, a new, perfect...resurrected body! Add onto this, the truth, that I could not start counting all the good things I thought that I had done... and think that they would earn me favor with God. They WOULDN'T?? Nope. I could not think that because I had never murdered anyone, God would find favor with me.
All of this was explained to me that day...and I realized, I had a choice to make. I was "sold" as it were. I prayed to receive Christ into my heart right then... and again, I felt it...warm tingles everywhere, and a physical feeling that I was clean inside. It was AMAZING!! :). Wow!
So now, I'm eating chips with salsa & guacamole and watching BIG BANG THEORY. My mom, sister and I have all come to the conclusion that we often don't like the way Penny treats Leonard. The 2 of them decided to start hanging out as friends; so they go out to (wherever the hell that was)) and sit at a table with drinks like they are on a date...but since they decided beforehand, that it was not a date, Penny spent the whole night conversing with some guy who resembled Leonard & left Leonard alone at the table. That's bad. You do not do that to somebody, period. That's mean. So now Penny and Stewart have gone out on a date, and they have both had the gall to ask Leonard what they can do to feel comfortable around each other.. So on top of everything else, Stewart says the advice Leonard gave him worked on the date. Although, when Penny and Stewart were making out after a few bottles of wine wine, Penny said Leonard's name...not Stewart.
Folks, stuff like that is exactly why, I do not date. Yes, I know that was just a TV show...but so many of those things are supposed to be completely socially acceptable when it comes to dating. I mean I'm the kinda person who's loyal to one guy for life. I still can't get over my high school boyfriend I had when I was 16. He's been married for a long time now, and I'm really happy for him, but I never really knew how to get over him. Don't get me wrong....I'm absolutely hoping that the right guy will find me; but I remember, I tried the hangin out as friends thing with him way back, after we broke up, and it was torture...I hated it. It was literally like something I never wanted to do again. There've been certain guys that I've known that I've been in love with and could not just hang out with as friends. I did not know how to go backwards and not be bothered by the fact that any romantic feelings were now off limits. This would crush me. This is why I really like the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. In it, he challenges people that there is a better way...you do not have to hurt really bad because you've given pieces of your heart away to the wrong people while trying to "find" the right one. Anyway...just some stuff.
I'm better at recognizing hair lines or styles, certain clothes or certain character's that someone played. This is especially true with black and white photos. Seems like colors help me recognize people better. If I know someone has olive skin or blue eyes, I look for that (for example.). I was just thinking that I would love to have some chocolate ice cream right about now. It's about 105 out, and I'm here on my sofa with the AC on staying out of the heat. I love pretty much anything chocolate...cake, brownies, pudding, Rocky Road ice cream...absolutely! And just like a kid after school, I love Oreo's and milk. When I went to England for a semester, I discovered gilato. Like it much better than ice cream... and the gilato here does not compare! I first had the gilato at a Rotunda Cinema in Kingston on the Thames. I went to see "The Passion of the Christ," and the guy behind the counter gave me an odd look. I think this was because I asked for chocolate and Rasperry together. Yummy!, oh that was good! :)
I once went on a canoe trip down the river in Arkansas. The canoe tipped over upside down, and my aunt and I found ourselves drifting in fast rushing, COLD water! It was then that I figured out that sometimes it does not matter how well you swim, if a river wants to carry you away...it will!! The irony is, that I don't swim anyway. We both had life jackets on, which kept us above the surface. But my aunt somehow had to grab onto the tree stuck in the middle of the river and me at the same time. Somehow, she did, and I don't even remember how we got out of the water, but we were drenched...and the river got everything...our towels, our sun glasses. Did I mention, it had really stormed that day? If I recall correctly, we'd almost called that trip off... but decided to go through with it because it had been planned for so long. I'd never told anyone, but I'd been really nervous about that trip. It was like I knew something was going to go wrong or something. I remember praying the night before, and saying "What happens if the canoe tips over?". Gee, how did I know? So, God answered me when he said "Why don't you trust me whether the canoe tips over or not?". So, the following day, when I was in the river swallowing the water and screaming, I was thinking "Okay God, remember what you said??". Anyway...he did...and here I am!
I became a born again Christian at 15. Well, it was actually earlier than that...but when it actually first happened, I was just eight years old, and literally did not know enough about being saved to understand what I had done. I grew up always knowing about God, and knowing that I would be with him in Heaven, after I died...but I did not always know that you have to be saved first. Anyway, as a little girl, I was told about the story of the woman who'd had a condition which caused her to bleed. She got through the crowd and tugged on Jesus's clothes, saying that she believed that she'd be healed, even with a touch of his garment. As the story goes, she was healed.
Jesus said "your faith has made you well.". So at the age of eight, I lay in bed that night, with my arms around the Teddy bear I've had since I was four months old (I still have him today) and I was curious just to see what would happen. So I whispered that I believed that if I COULD touch Jesus's garment, I'd be healed too. I wasn't sick. I just believed it. I felt... What was that? I was not sure, but it was amazing and wonderful! Everything was clean from the inside. I felt, sorta like goosebumps and warm tingles all over me. I know now, that at that moment...I joined the family called the "body" of Christ. I was at that moment "saved"...and the Holy Spirit did enter in. But at the time, I had no idea what any of that actually meant. I did not know I needed to BE saved, so I had not asked to be. But I had sincerely said that I believed...that the same power that healed that woman with the sickness could also (if need be) heal me. It was not until seven years later, when I was 15 and a sophomore in high school that I consciously understood what being saved meant.
As a kid, my mother did not baptize me and never required of me that I attend church. She'd wanted me to be able to make those decisions for myself later on. As a teen, I was in fact, convicted in my own way that I needed to be saved, as well as baptized. I remember, my step-dad had brought home these videos of these short, fictional films depicting what things may be like when Christ returns for all believers left on the earth, (the one's who have not already died, of course). Long story short, I saw the things in those films (made back in the 60's) and I kept thinking "What if...". What if it's true? What if we will all need to take a mark on outright hand or forehead, or we won't be able to buy or sell anything without it? What if not taking this mark would mean death? What if Christ is going to remove his spirit from the world at this time, because all the believers have been taken? In other words... evil like we've never known before. What if all that's true? I don't wanna be here for that! I then began to consider that if I were saved...I would not be "left behind"...I would go to be with Jesus.
But the kicker was this: even if the "Rapture" did not happen in my lifetime...when I died, where would I go? Wow. If I'm not saved, I would go to Hell. Period. According to the Bible, so will every unbeliever. Yikes!! This is not something I want to GUESS about, or just figure that it won't happen to me! So after all three movies were over, I'd made up my mind! What did I have to lose? Only things which are not right for me anyway. What did I have to gain? EVERYTHING!! Abundant life here on earth AND eternal life in Heaven with Jesus, and no more pain, (and) one day, a new, perfect...resurrected body! Add onto this, the truth, that I could not start counting all the good things I thought that I had done... and think that they would earn me favor with God. They WOULDN'T?? Nope. I could not think that because I had never murdered anyone, God would find favor with me.
All of this was explained to me that day...and I realized, I had a choice to make. I was "sold" as it were. I prayed to receive Christ into my heart right then... and again, I felt it...warm tingles everywhere, and a physical feeling that I was clean inside. It was AMAZING!! :). Wow!
So now, I'm eating chips with salsa & guacamole and watching BIG BANG THEORY. My mom, sister and I have all come to the conclusion that we often don't like the way Penny treats Leonard. The 2 of them decided to start hanging out as friends; so they go out to (wherever the hell that was)) and sit at a table with drinks like they are on a date...but since they decided beforehand, that it was not a date, Penny spent the whole night conversing with some guy who resembled Leonard & left Leonard alone at the table. That's bad. You do not do that to somebody, period. That's mean. So now Penny and Stewart have gone out on a date, and they have both had the gall to ask Leonard what they can do to feel comfortable around each other.. So on top of everything else, Stewart says the advice Leonard gave him worked on the date. Although, when Penny and Stewart were making out after a few bottles of wine wine, Penny said Leonard's name...not Stewart.
Folks, stuff like that is exactly why, I do not date. Yes, I know that was just a TV show...but so many of those things are supposed to be completely socially acceptable when it comes to dating. I mean I'm the kinda person who's loyal to one guy for life. I still can't get over my high school boyfriend I had when I was 16. He's been married for a long time now, and I'm really happy for him, but I never really knew how to get over him. Don't get me wrong....I'm absolutely hoping that the right guy will find me; but I remember, I tried the hangin out as friends thing with him way back, after we broke up, and it was torture...I hated it. It was literally like something I never wanted to do again. There've been certain guys that I've known that I've been in love with and could not just hang out with as friends. I did not know how to go backwards and not be bothered by the fact that any romantic feelings were now off limits. This would crush me. This is why I really like the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. In it, he challenges people that there is a better way...you do not have to hurt really bad because you've given pieces of your heart away to the wrong people while trying to "find" the right one. Anyway...just some stuff.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Lighten Up...
I did this originally when I was on Christian Mingle. This is not an exact copy of anything, this is from memory, and there is a lot that I posted originally, that is not here. I got to thinking of it again, and how much fun it was to post before. So, enjoy! :)
* Now, none of these are PERFECT examples, because I'm not perfect. If one thinks about these too hard, it defeats the purpose. :)
Biblical Delima's... Yeah?
1. Predestination or free will?
We were predestined to have free will. Whether you believe it or not is your choice.
2. The Trinity?
Draw a heart on a piece of paper.
Write "God the Father" on one side, "God the Son" on the other, and write "Holy Spirit" in the middle.
Completed circle, bridged gap. See it?
You could also think of a mom pregnant with twins: 1 person? Yes. 3 people? Yes. Three in one, each with their own distinct identity? Yes.
3. Holloween?
Carve a Pumkin. Scoop out the junk inside. Put a candle inside.
Picture: When a person is "saved" Jesus spirit comes into their heart and cleans out the "junk" inside, and shines his "light"
No "All Hallows Eve" fear, just an awareness that Jesus's light saves us from the darkness.
4. Creation?
God was in his own world, and he wanted company. We've all been there, right?
So he created a "network" of people to relate to.
Imagine Adam naming each pair of animals, and then noticing that there was not anyone for him to rlate to.
(Not that Adam was an animal) :)
Eve was brought to him, and the very first "social Network" was begun, a "network," which we are all part of.
Sound like too much of a stretch? Well, maybe that's because it's been stretching on for about six thousand years. :)
5. Sin?
Picture: Think of a negative Facebook post that is reposted...again and again. We all "stem" from that original "social network" of the first couple, Adam and Eve, so we have all been "related" with the choice that they made to disobey him. We don't get to choose our parents, correct? Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we end up taking on our parents choices, right? So the consequences were also passed to each of us, sorta like a biological "cupy" machine. This is the way we all begin at conception, before we've ever made any of our own choices. Because that sin (wrong doing) was "copied" to each one of us, it exists in each person.
6. The talking snake??
It's like a medium being taken over by another voice on one of those paranormal shows...coming from WHERE?? Whether one thinks it's real or fake, there's another "presence" there.
7. Immaculate conception.
Mary was like the world's first surrogate mother.
She was impregnated (not the usual way, of course). The baby she carried was "implanted" inside her by the ultimate Healer (so no doctor needed).
* Now, none of these are PERFECT examples, because I'm not perfect. If one thinks about these too hard, it defeats the purpose. :)
Biblical Delima's... Yeah?
1. Predestination or free will?
We were predestined to have free will. Whether you believe it or not is your choice.
2. The Trinity?
Draw a heart on a piece of paper.
Write "God the Father" on one side, "God the Son" on the other, and write "Holy Spirit" in the middle.
Completed circle, bridged gap. See it?
You could also think of a mom pregnant with twins: 1 person? Yes. 3 people? Yes. Three in one, each with their own distinct identity? Yes.
3. Holloween?
Carve a Pumkin. Scoop out the junk inside. Put a candle inside.
Picture: When a person is "saved" Jesus spirit comes into their heart and cleans out the "junk" inside, and shines his "light"
No "All Hallows Eve" fear, just an awareness that Jesus's light saves us from the darkness.
4. Creation?
God was in his own world, and he wanted company. We've all been there, right?
So he created a "network" of people to relate to.
Imagine Adam naming each pair of animals, and then noticing that there was not anyone for him to rlate to.
(Not that Adam was an animal) :)
Eve was brought to him, and the very first "social Network" was begun, a "network," which we are all part of.
Sound like too much of a stretch? Well, maybe that's because it's been stretching on for about six thousand years. :)
5. Sin?
Picture: Think of a negative Facebook post that is reposted...again and again. We all "stem" from that original "social network" of the first couple, Adam and Eve, so we have all been "related" with the choice that they made to disobey him. We don't get to choose our parents, correct? Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we end up taking on our parents choices, right? So the consequences were also passed to each of us, sorta like a biological "cupy" machine. This is the way we all begin at conception, before we've ever made any of our own choices. Because that sin (wrong doing) was "copied" to each one of us, it exists in each person.
6. The talking snake??
It's like a medium being taken over by another voice on one of those paranormal shows...coming from WHERE?? Whether one thinks it's real or fake, there's another "presence" there.
7. Immaculate conception.
Mary was like the world's first surrogate mother.
She was impregnated (not the usual way, of course). The baby she carried was "implanted" inside her by the ultimate Healer (so no doctor needed).
Monday, April 22, 2013
The Cloaked Figure...
When Jane Fonda wrote her book about her life and family, and famous father, it was yet another book that I did not finish. This is not because the book is not good. I love the book...my mind, just switches between passions a lot, and I become weary of one subject, no matter how amazing, and I need to switch to another...and I often forget to return to my original interest. But, what I did read of it, I remember vividly. Jane spoke of the memory of her and her mother catching butterflies in a jar. Again, butterflies had significance in my life, as they have with dissevering Opal Whitely, and with the collection of real butterflies I found in a drawer in my great grandmother's hutch, or with the Michael Jackson song... Anyway, here was another example of these delicate winged creature. Fonda said that this was one of the only memories she had of her biological mother. I think she remembered it as being one of the only times she ever saw her mother happy.
Fonda described her mother as being distant, and not easy to talk to or figure out. She seemed to obediently try to make everything okay for her family, but was unable to really reach the happiness she tried so diligently to put together. I guess the next memory Jane has of her mother was when she learned that her parents were getting divorced (Maybe that's just the next thing I remember about the book). She said her mother came into the bedroom and lifted up her pajama top. She had just had surgery, and the muscles in her stomach had been noticeably affected.
"Your father isn't attracted to me anymore...he want's a divorce."
When she lifted her top up, an impressionable ittle girl saw why her father was rejecting her mother.
"See?, She said (her mother)... It's all gone."... Referring to the muscles no longer there and the distorted shape.
Jane said that it was then that she made up her mind, that no man would ever reject her in the way that her mother was rejected by her father. From then on, she did everything possible to obtain physical perfection... perfect body, hair, teeth. She became obsessed with body image and developed an eating disorder. Anyone who's seen her movies, has seen that beautiful physical frame and features...but who could've known the deep anguish attached to the image? Fonda also speaks about an amazing encounter she had with legendary actress Greta Garbo. Fonda was still just a young child, and her father Henry was remarried. I believe the story was, she had been at a party, at which many celebrities were in attendance (Garbo included). Jane said that she was lonely there and that no one else had really paid any attention to her, but that Greta Garbo took Jane by the hand and asked her if she'd like to go swimming with her. The house they were in was on the beach. Garbo was wearing a long robe and she walked with Jane on the beach until they came to a secluded place with a cliff overlooking the water. She says Garbo stepped out onto the cliff and removed her robe. Jane describes seeing all of this remarkable woman's features... Her waist, shoulders, hips and breasts. They were normal. They were healthy and gorgeous... not cut or deformed or sickly looking, and the little girl was able to see that here was a woman, quite comfortable in her own skin. But she also was not movie star skinny. Garbo had a noticeable belly. She dove, naked, straight into the water.
As I read this, I sat there with my mouth dropped... but not for the reasons you might think....
Okay, in one sentence:
A gorgeous woman strolled down the beach after dark, removed all her clothes in front of a child and dove into the ocean.
I really don't believe that many people would do this. Seems we're all so busy either being guarded and protected in the wrong ways, or we're exposing too much ,and in the wrong ways. Seems when our daughters need their mothers to be proud of who they are (the mothers) so that they have an empowering example of body image, mothers are telling themselves that they are fat and ugly, or "less than" because they are not skinny. Maybe they are telling their children that their father wants a divorce because he's no longer attracted to them. Flip the coin, and you have the other end of the spectrum where the movie industry is obsessed with what it sees as the perfect physical shape, and broadcasting it everywhere! I mean, here Jane was conquering an industry that would not be accepting of anything less than physical perfection. So it seems to me that she cloaked all of her starving herself and pressed on. Maybe Jane's mother did that too. I don't know that she ever starved herself, but maybe she always cloaked how she really felt and pressed on.
Maybe for Jane, seeing Greta Garbo disrobe was the first time the "cloak" came off. I don't mean this just literally. I know... all you can think about is "Why the hell would she do that?" Right? Either that, or you can't stop picturing Garbo's naked body, right? That is not the point. I do not believe that Greta Garbo did what she did that night to gain any attention or get anyone to notice her. (you have to remember, they went to a secluded spot to begin with). But neither was she worried or concerned about herself, or the child with her. At that moment, a terrified little girl just wanting to be safe, saw someone who thought nothing at all of doing something Jane had been taught to be completely ashamed of (If it wasn't perfect). Garbo worried about no such imperfections, and that night, on the beach, she was comfortable enough with herself to show it...in every way.
As to Mr. Henry Fonda, when I read his cold, lack of reasoning and lack of discussion for wanting a divorce, all I could think was: "you son of a bitch!". I remember being so flipping angry! Where does a man get off asking his wife for a divorce because part of her her body has changed? I remember thinking; " How shallow can you be, you pig! It's not as though it was her fault!". And then to not even allow her to talk about it or express her feelings! That had to tear her up like something she could not explain. (Bad pun, I know, but still...). So, all this has me wondering what really makes a woman attractive to a man...for the RIGHT reasons, I mean.. not the stupid, superficial ones... the one's that were keeping poor Jane starving herself!
What in the world seemed to keep Henry Fonda unwilling to love his wife? Why was there (apparently) no empathy there? Poor thing! What was she supposed to do? This baffles me even now. My first thought was that it was sheer selfishness... but could fear and a change in intimacy be so chronic that it causes someone to completely shut someone out? This is what I'm arras of... being shut out...in some horrible way that I don't see coming for some unexpected reason.
So maybe all the talk about butterflies at the beginning had to do with renewal and hope. When you really love someone, decide that you will keep seeing them in new ways. Take a new picture, adjust the tuning, try a new translation. (Okay, I borrowed that from Carly Simon). Anyway, just below the surface of an unsure situation, there are always little embers of change. I think the right attitude can spark fireworks... but this can't happen if we give up altogether!
Fonda described her mother as being distant, and not easy to talk to or figure out. She seemed to obediently try to make everything okay for her family, but was unable to really reach the happiness she tried so diligently to put together. I guess the next memory Jane has of her mother was when she learned that her parents were getting divorced (Maybe that's just the next thing I remember about the book). She said her mother came into the bedroom and lifted up her pajama top. She had just had surgery, and the muscles in her stomach had been noticeably affected.
"Your father isn't attracted to me anymore...he want's a divorce."
When she lifted her top up, an impressionable ittle girl saw why her father was rejecting her mother.
"See?, She said (her mother)... It's all gone."... Referring to the muscles no longer there and the distorted shape.
Jane said that it was then that she made up her mind, that no man would ever reject her in the way that her mother was rejected by her father. From then on, she did everything possible to obtain physical perfection... perfect body, hair, teeth. She became obsessed with body image and developed an eating disorder. Anyone who's seen her movies, has seen that beautiful physical frame and features...but who could've known the deep anguish attached to the image? Fonda also speaks about an amazing encounter she had with legendary actress Greta Garbo. Fonda was still just a young child, and her father Henry was remarried. I believe the story was, she had been at a party, at which many celebrities were in attendance (Garbo included). Jane said that she was lonely there and that no one else had really paid any attention to her, but that Greta Garbo took Jane by the hand and asked her if she'd like to go swimming with her. The house they were in was on the beach. Garbo was wearing a long robe and she walked with Jane on the beach until they came to a secluded place with a cliff overlooking the water. She says Garbo stepped out onto the cliff and removed her robe. Jane describes seeing all of this remarkable woman's features... Her waist, shoulders, hips and breasts. They were normal. They were healthy and gorgeous... not cut or deformed or sickly looking, and the little girl was able to see that here was a woman, quite comfortable in her own skin. But she also was not movie star skinny. Garbo had a noticeable belly. She dove, naked, straight into the water.
As I read this, I sat there with my mouth dropped... but not for the reasons you might think....
Okay, in one sentence:
A gorgeous woman strolled down the beach after dark, removed all her clothes in front of a child and dove into the ocean.
I really don't believe that many people would do this. Seems we're all so busy either being guarded and protected in the wrong ways, or we're exposing too much ,and in the wrong ways. Seems when our daughters need their mothers to be proud of who they are (the mothers) so that they have an empowering example of body image, mothers are telling themselves that they are fat and ugly, or "less than" because they are not skinny. Maybe they are telling their children that their father wants a divorce because he's no longer attracted to them. Flip the coin, and you have the other end of the spectrum where the movie industry is obsessed with what it sees as the perfect physical shape, and broadcasting it everywhere! I mean, here Jane was conquering an industry that would not be accepting of anything less than physical perfection. So it seems to me that she cloaked all of her starving herself and pressed on. Maybe Jane's mother did that too. I don't know that she ever starved herself, but maybe she always cloaked how she really felt and pressed on.
Maybe for Jane, seeing Greta Garbo disrobe was the first time the "cloak" came off. I don't mean this just literally. I know... all you can think about is "Why the hell would she do that?" Right? Either that, or you can't stop picturing Garbo's naked body, right? That is not the point. I do not believe that Greta Garbo did what she did that night to gain any attention or get anyone to notice her. (you have to remember, they went to a secluded spot to begin with). But neither was she worried or concerned about herself, or the child with her. At that moment, a terrified little girl just wanting to be safe, saw someone who thought nothing at all of doing something Jane had been taught to be completely ashamed of (If it wasn't perfect). Garbo worried about no such imperfections, and that night, on the beach, she was comfortable enough with herself to show it...in every way.
As to Mr. Henry Fonda, when I read his cold, lack of reasoning and lack of discussion for wanting a divorce, all I could think was: "you son of a bitch!". I remember being so flipping angry! Where does a man get off asking his wife for a divorce because part of her her body has changed? I remember thinking; " How shallow can you be, you pig! It's not as though it was her fault!". And then to not even allow her to talk about it or express her feelings! That had to tear her up like something she could not explain. (Bad pun, I know, but still...). So, all this has me wondering what really makes a woman attractive to a man...for the RIGHT reasons, I mean.. not the stupid, superficial ones... the one's that were keeping poor Jane starving herself!
What in the world seemed to keep Henry Fonda unwilling to love his wife? Why was there (apparently) no empathy there? Poor thing! What was she supposed to do? This baffles me even now. My first thought was that it was sheer selfishness... but could fear and a change in intimacy be so chronic that it causes someone to completely shut someone out? This is what I'm arras of... being shut out...in some horrible way that I don't see coming for some unexpected reason.
So maybe all the talk about butterflies at the beginning had to do with renewal and hope. When you really love someone, decide that you will keep seeing them in new ways. Take a new picture, adjust the tuning, try a new translation. (Okay, I borrowed that from Carly Simon). Anyway, just below the surface of an unsure situation, there are always little embers of change. I think the right attitude can spark fireworks... but this can't happen if we give up altogether!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
What do YOU want to do?
Dolores Hart: beautiful actress of the sixties probably most famous for playing Merit Andrews in "Where the Boys Are" (1960). I have her autograph. But it is not just an autograph. Mother Dolores Hart wrote me a letter and signed her name, as is customary for anyone writing a letter to do. But the story behind it has become a treasured life event for me.
I'm not exactly sure what prompted me to write to her. I'd heard that Mother Dolores Hart would be making an appearance at the 2011 Oscars. HBO actually filmed a documentary about the famous actress now famous for having become a nun, in which her Oscar appearance was highlighted. No fancy evening dress, no immaculate hair, just the simple habbit of a nun. She was incredibly brave to me! Here she was in Hollywood, on the red carpet, right in the middle of every celebrity you could ever imagine...wading a nun's garb of black and white. Not many people would do that. In fact, who else would even have the very unique position of attending the Oscars as a lady of the cloth. (am I allowed to say that... lady of the cloth? :). I'd seen a documentary on her sometime back. Apparently, The Abbey of Regina Laudis in Bethlehem Connecticut (Yes, Bethlehem), is unique, in that it is the only abbey that has it's own theater. ""Where the Boys Are" co-star Paula Prentess came to visit her good friend and Mother Delores went for a ride in Paula's convertible, her habit flying behind her in the wind.
I so admired her then because I'd seen her portrayal of Merit. Merit really is one of my favorite movie characters of all time. I remember thinking "you go girl!" when she said the line "What could be more interpersonal than backseat bingo?". Who could imagine a teacher of an Interpersonal Communication class asking what "making out" means? Anyway, Merit's direct, matter of fact answer proves she is a level headed, no nonsense, good girl, who looked out for herself.
I suppose I was lonely, but I really wanted someone to pray for me. I decided to write to her. I looked up the abbey and decided to do a little research on her. This research alone was a sweet journey for me. Dolores was the actress famous for being kissed by Elvis. She had a thriving career and was happily engaged. A friend invited her to stay at the abbey temporarily for a much needed break. By the end of her stay there, the journey of Dolores Hart had taken a completely different direction. I think at the time, I'd wanted my life to take a different direction. Looking back, my life overflowed with opportunities to thank God for, but I felt stuck... trapped... like I couldn't move. I think I just needed some reassurance that we all go through things like this. Anyway, I took pen to paper, and I told (one of my favorite actresses) my story. I sent the letter off, just so amazed that I'd just written to one of my favorite people. (What an honor!) I actually was not expecting Mother Dolores to write me back. But one day, I received an envelope which said: Abbey of Regina Laudis on top. The letter was indeed from Mother Dolores Hart. She thanked me for the letter, and warmly assured me that the sisters at the abbey would be praying for me!! Imagine her taking the time to write me back! I could not believe it, I was flabbergasted! (There's a word I don't often use!).
I carry her letter with me to this day! In doing my research on Mother Dolores, I came across a lecture she gave to a group of college students somewhere on the east coast. In it, she explained the events that led up to her living in the abbey permanently. She said her fiancee at the time could tell she was not happy with her life and urged her to get on a plane to revisit the abbey and "see what was bothering her.". Dolores did. And she sat in the Reverend Mother's office weeping... saying she only wanted to know what God's will was. "What do you want to do?" The Reverend Mother asked her. "I want to do God's will," she replied. "God knows very well what his will is; I'm asking you what you want to do," said the Reverend Mother. It was then that Dolores finally knew she was going to stay. I'll never forget this very direct question. God's will is so good for us... but at times the process of knowing it is so life changing that we deny what he's telling us. The journey we walk when we live radically for Him, causes us to walk away from things we thought we could never live without, so we can walk into a destiny created for us, so perfectly suited to who we are, that we could never have imagined it!!
I'm not exactly sure what prompted me to write to her. I'd heard that Mother Dolores Hart would be making an appearance at the 2011 Oscars. HBO actually filmed a documentary about the famous actress now famous for having become a nun, in which her Oscar appearance was highlighted. No fancy evening dress, no immaculate hair, just the simple habbit of a nun. She was incredibly brave to me! Here she was in Hollywood, on the red carpet, right in the middle of every celebrity you could ever imagine...wading a nun's garb of black and white. Not many people would do that. In fact, who else would even have the very unique position of attending the Oscars as a lady of the cloth. (am I allowed to say that... lady of the cloth? :). I'd seen a documentary on her sometime back. Apparently, The Abbey of Regina Laudis in Bethlehem Connecticut (Yes, Bethlehem), is unique, in that it is the only abbey that has it's own theater. ""Where the Boys Are" co-star Paula Prentess came to visit her good friend and Mother Delores went for a ride in Paula's convertible, her habit flying behind her in the wind.
I so admired her then because I'd seen her portrayal of Merit. Merit really is one of my favorite movie characters of all time. I remember thinking "you go girl!" when she said the line "What could be more interpersonal than backseat bingo?". Who could imagine a teacher of an Interpersonal Communication class asking what "making out" means? Anyway, Merit's direct, matter of fact answer proves she is a level headed, no nonsense, good girl, who looked out for herself.
I suppose I was lonely, but I really wanted someone to pray for me. I decided to write to her. I looked up the abbey and decided to do a little research on her. This research alone was a sweet journey for me. Dolores was the actress famous for being kissed by Elvis. She had a thriving career and was happily engaged. A friend invited her to stay at the abbey temporarily for a much needed break. By the end of her stay there, the journey of Dolores Hart had taken a completely different direction. I think at the time, I'd wanted my life to take a different direction. Looking back, my life overflowed with opportunities to thank God for, but I felt stuck... trapped... like I couldn't move. I think I just needed some reassurance that we all go through things like this. Anyway, I took pen to paper, and I told (one of my favorite actresses) my story. I sent the letter off, just so amazed that I'd just written to one of my favorite people. (What an honor!) I actually was not expecting Mother Dolores to write me back. But one day, I received an envelope which said: Abbey of Regina Laudis on top. The letter was indeed from Mother Dolores Hart. She thanked me for the letter, and warmly assured me that the sisters at the abbey would be praying for me!! Imagine her taking the time to write me back! I could not believe it, I was flabbergasted! (There's a word I don't often use!).
I carry her letter with me to this day! In doing my research on Mother Dolores, I came across a lecture she gave to a group of college students somewhere on the east coast. In it, she explained the events that led up to her living in the abbey permanently. She said her fiancee at the time could tell she was not happy with her life and urged her to get on a plane to revisit the abbey and "see what was bothering her.". Dolores did. And she sat in the Reverend Mother's office weeping... saying she only wanted to know what God's will was. "What do you want to do?" The Reverend Mother asked her. "I want to do God's will," she replied. "God knows very well what his will is; I'm asking you what you want to do," said the Reverend Mother. It was then that Dolores finally knew she was going to stay. I'll never forget this very direct question. God's will is so good for us... but at times the process of knowing it is so life changing that we deny what he's telling us. The journey we walk when we live radically for Him, causes us to walk away from things we thought we could never live without, so we can walk into a destiny created for us, so perfectly suited to who we are, that we could never have imagined it!!
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Never looking Back....
Ever wish you could just get in the car and drive, and just keep goin' and never look back? I do all the time.b. Sometimes I imagine I'm Mary in the song "Thunder Road":
"Mary climb in... It's a town full a losers and I'm pullin' outta here!"
I'm looking at this patch work purse I bought... all the colors looking like a textile collage. I didn't make it myself, but that's the beauty of it: Somebody who really knows what they are doing made it, and it's gorgeous! I just had the eye to see it and buy it. :)
I sit around and watch movies a lot and let the wind blow on my face and listen to wind chimes. That has been my afternoon, well aside from making some homemade tortilla chips. I forgot to buy some at the grocery store, so when we got home, I made them myself. Hey I found this really awesome recipe for bean dip, I have to have some chips to go with it.
I was thinking if I were ever brave enough to get a tattoo, it should be a butterfly. Course, I always wanted it to be "Beatles.". That was the first tattoo I wanted. I just don't know that I want anyone using a needle, embedding ink into my skin. I took a slot of guts for me to even get my ears pierced. There's so much I wanna write about, and sometimes I go and go, but sometimes my mind just kinda goes blank. I'm smelling onions frying, which means dinner will be soon. Very nice :)
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