A couple weeks ago, I wrote in this blog about an underweight woman I'd seen in the doctor's office. For a while, I have struggled over this couple of people (a mother and daughter), wondering if there were anything more I could...or should do for her daughter. Was she a minor? My instinct tells me no. I asked my mother about that, and she agreed. Would there by any legal grounds to try and help this woman? Possibly. But there was a check in my heart.
Usually, when a person is particularly hostile as well as controlling, a sudden jolt in the reality they are used to can cause them to think the whole world is against them...and possibly do something desperate. Is it right for this mother to be abusive to her daughter in that way? Absolutely not. In truth, I've been most concerned about this underweight woman throwing up. But what if the mother got it into her head that her DAUGHTER had called the authorities? Say they checked into it, only to find that this girl is not a minor? In that case, how much worse would this woman's reality be? Because of suspicion...paranoia...fear? (on the part of the mother, mean.) Say she IS a minor... and she is possibly removed from the situation. What would that do to this mother? Would it then backfire and fall on this girl's head like a ton of bricks? I say this, because I'm worried about her DAUGHTER. I'm not concerned about the mother's personal feelings...but master manipulator's only know how to manipulate more.
That's the problem. My instinct tells me there's a million unknowns here. My instinct tells me that this girl certainly needs some help... But somehow, I'm afraid that involving (or trying to involve) the authorities would do more harm than good. I'm trying to figure if this just my own fear talking. But my personal feelings are these:
That girl was an adult...and very articulate. Emotionally there absolutely are issues, yes. But the thing is, no one can make a person get help for an eating disorder. They have to want it for themselves. As destructive as this girl's "coping" skills are...it's like telling an alcoholic to quit drinking. They have to want the help for themselves. Putting that aside for a minute...this girl had learned how to handle her mother. She knew how manipulative her mom is, and I feel that if she's smart enough to handle her Mother's abusive nature...she's smart enough to get away from it too. She can call a relative or friend. She can speak to someone herself about her situation and find out what her options are. The really sad thing is that even if she no longer lived with her mother, this does not mean that the vomiting would stop. This doesn't mean that no one should try...and I get that. But I find that if someone really wants to keep something hidden, they will. Perhaps this is not the right perspective and I should've checked into it further. My prayer is that this girl will find a solid, Biblically based church, and that she can get some support that way.
Keep praying for this girl. As I said in the first entry, I don't even know her name. I wonder if even giving this girl some time to herself without her mother around would do any good. It breaks my heart though that she is harming herself (at least, based on what mom and I saw that day.). I'm still not sure whether I did the right thing by choosing not to get involved. I just wouldn't want my actions to end up bringing more harm to her than good. Poor thing.
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