"So this is Christmas...and what have you done? Another year over...a new one just begun."
Okay, obviously, it's not Christmas anymore...but on this New Year's Eve of 2015, I, like many, am pondering what I have done with the last year just flown by. Wow. My friends might tell you that all you need to do is look at my FB page! For that matter, sometimes it's what you stop doing, or give up that creates defining moments in your life. But let's see...
God absolutely has me on a journey...and it seemed to be more defined for me this year than ever before. I returned to FB...after having left it for between six and eight months. I'd come to the conclusion that this absolutely had turned into an idol in my life, and I decided to prove to myself that I could live without it ( for awhile), so I did. I'm happy to say, that even someone who gets bored easily like I do CAN live without FB...and it's actually quite refreshing. But I also realized that I missed being connected with those that I see rarely, or (let's just be honest), not at all. It's wonderful being able to talk with someone who could be many miles away, but you can still feel close to them. So, I returned, and my efforts to stay away from it are becoming less & less...because I enjoy it so much. :). But I would say, just have checks and balances...remember you have a life& keep on living it, so FB does not become your life.
Ironically, last Christmas I left the church I had attended since I was a teenager, at which time I really struggled internally about where to go next. The wonderful thing is...God worked it out, exactly the way I was hoping and better. This process actually took several months, and the prayer was pretty intense and rewarding. Through this process I have re-kindled a couple friendships, which is wonderful...and am making many others. I've begun learning Hebrew...which was literally an unexpected gift G-d dropped in my lap. After I began attending my new church, I was made aware that the class was starting & G-d provided the funds for the materials. I started a blog called "What is This Crazy Faith?" that talks all about what I've been learning on my journey through Messianic Roots. I've had to really learn to be as precise, but as gentle as I can, in discussing these subjects. Sometimes I succeed at this...sometimes I blow it...but I try to be as honest as I can. I found an online radio station called Messianic Lamb Radio that has (every day) a morning prayer show & a chat room discussion. It's here that I began learning the Shema, and the Aaronic Blessing (In Hebrew). I've actually been saying the Aaronic Blessing in English for ages...but never knew that that's what it was! Anyway, this has been such a blessing to me, because it let's me know that I'm not walking this (new) road alone. There are many folks out there walking the same road and asking the same questions.
It was through this radio show that I began really learning about the Jewish calendar a festivals (feast days). I looked all of them up online, made a list...and tacked it on my wall. I decided to take baby steps. My mother gave me a set of flameless candles last year for Christmas, and I have turned these into my Shabbat candles. Without being concerned about any "protocol" someone might say I'm breaking...these are very wonderful and safe, because I can keep them "on" for as long as I like, and there is no fire hazard. No flames, no melting wax...and all I need to do is buy the batteries when I do my grocery shopping. I found a nice Messianic prayer shawl with blue & white tzi tzi's on the corners. I found the scriptures in the Torah that explain the significance of the blue & white, and wrote down the scriptures I saw on the prayer shawl, stuck them in an envelope, and took this as evidence that I am NOT who I was...as the song goes.
I found (to my surprise) that there is a Messianic Bible College in Israel. They have a wonderful ministry called "One For Israel" that is committed to getting the gospel of (Yeshua) Jesus to as many as possible (but particularly to the people of Israel). They also have a Messianic radio station, run on the college campus that plays an amazing variety of Messianic music. So, needless to say, this is also an interest. I lost interest in the show "Duck Dynasty" and still love "Big Bang Theory" as always. I don't watch it every week, but being that it's in OnDemand, there's no problem there! I've discovered a blog called Kveller.com, which talks about Jewish life and Jewish culture, but I was mainly interested because I found out that Mayim Bialik writes articles for them. She's amazing! Her name means "water" and she has a relative (a cousin, I believe) who was...a poet! His name was Chaim Bialik, and he was at one time, Israel's equivalent of a Poet Laureate. I didn't even know Israel HAD a poet Laureate, or anything like it.
I discovered that I love the Lemon Bar Frappe at Starbucks, and am still, as always, a Taco Bell addict. (Hey, everybody has vices, right?). I tried the online dating thing again, and actually found a dating site that is for those with AS. I created a profile, which, through technical difficulties, did not have picture on it. But I got several responses & began conversing with a really cute guy...who was not a Christian, which at the time, I still considered myself to be. Anyway, really strong faith causes you to know where your "Deal breakers" are. I gave him a chance, but knew when he got mad at me the first time I asked him if there was anything I could pray for him about...that it was no good. I know what happened: He internalized the question, and thought that I was trying to tell him he was not good enough the way he was. Gee, and I thought I was being so respectful too. But, like I said...strong faith let's you know where your deal breakers are. I tried the Christian Mingle thing too, but quit right away...because, I know that whomever G-d has for me...I'm not going to meet him that way. Never mind. :))
I made my first Rosh Hashanah apple cupcakes with homemade icing, and also made homemade Christmas cookies. I ordered a DVD I found online called "Betrothed" that actually documents a few couples, in the states that went through a traditional betrothal process. Was very intrigued by this, and loved it! I decided to stop drinking Pepsi completely when I saw a YouTube video that shows what happens when it's boiled...oh Lord! That stuff looked like fresh tar you would pave a street with. Anyway, I succeeded at this for about 4 months, I would guess. I did begin drinking it again sometime in the summer, but the miracle is that I went without it that long in the first place! For a Pepsi addict like me...this is a miracle. I visited a wonderful bakery owned by AMAZING friends and LOVED the food as always, and posted way too many of my favorite songs onto FB! I rejoiced with many over a marriage, or the arrival of a child, and prayed with may precious people. I would say that this, my friends, has been my year in review. Add to this, a lot of snuggling with my kitty watching my favorite movies, getting a book of Chaim Bialik's poetry for my birthday, and really developing a love for hummus. I got "The Silver Linings Playbook" for Christmas this year, and also the original "Secret Life of Walter Mitty" with Danny Kaye. Also made major progress getting rid of a lot of things I don't need, and again got to rejoice in the fact that I have no debt(!!!). I am very very blessed indeed! My wish and hope is that all of you have also had an amazing year. Take care...love those close to you a lot...and tell them you love them as often as you can. With that, I wish you all a wonderful and healthy 2016!!!
