What Are Your Weaknesses?

I was just complaining to my mother about the amount of responses I don't seem to receive on Facebook anymore. Hate to have to admit it, but I think I'm addicted to three things: Facebook, Twitter... and other people's approval. (I'm addicted to Frito boats too, but that's another thing entirely). Did I mention I tend to get angry and stew in it for days? (Nobody else does that, right?) I don't take criticism very well, because it's difficulr for me to think of any of of it as being "constructive." I think the "Blanket reaction" is just to believe that there is something wrong with me as a person... and call it a day.



I'm getting better though: for a while I majored in theatre, and had to learn to let my instructors and fellow students "criticize" my work. Good thing...I needed it. How could I have gotten better otherwise? I'm usually afraid that something will go wrong. Sometimes it does... and sometimes it doesn't. I'd say "anxiety" s the word. We tend to create what we fear, right? I believe this (I also hate it) but I can't seem to stop doing it. :) I don't tend to be very phyically active, and I'm not much of a joiner.

(Later)

I wish I could work with those horses like Fergie got to do. She was ALLOWED to help them trust her because she got to use her own instincts rather than somebody else trying to control her with their instincts or thier protocol or their ideas about how they think things should be. I don't feel that I've ever truly been able to do that. ButI'm just like Fergie, I have this all or nothing mentality. I'm either trying to give it ALL and over correcting everything, or I have completely backed away from everything, and have to "gently" stick my foot back in the water. I wish I could work with horses like that, or stand out in the middle of the desert and scream, or, learn how to shoot a gun, maybe. I've never truly been able to cross the threshold of "You can do this yourself now;" and it's kept me chained up for too long.

I'm purposely too hard on myself, because then that way, I have no place else to go but UP. I try to avoid the sinking heart that can come with any kind of "rejection," but eventually, I have to deal with it anyway. So why avoid it? (But I do) :) I also concentrate on my weaknesses more than my strengths (can you tell? :) The downer is that "Out of the mouth comes that which fills the heart." So, if I''m focusing on my weaknesses... uh--OH :)